There has been much discussion of lists lately in the halls of my favorite Social Network and one of the lists that has recently been discussed and requested was my List for Men. Yes, gentle reader, I have a list which I am sharing with you today. How did this list come about you ask, well read on and you will understand. I am a girl who needs a road map to get through life, it seems. I share with you mine…
In the strange world of dating and relationships, classify me, hands down, Slowest Learner in all of History! One would think that if I can get “it” easily in most every other aspect of life, one would assume that I would be a quick learn in the Romance Game.
Not so, gentle reader, if I had a coach, maybe I would not have made so many mistakes. That being said, I did not, and so after much trial and as many errors. I determined that I would write my own list. Nothing concrete of inflexible, okay – maybe more than a little concrete and somewhat inflexible, but at the ripe old age of 47, it is obvious that I need a map to get where I need to go.
Thus, The List was born.
I have always been drawn to the direct opposite of me. I would say black – they white. Really quite interesting and effective if you are looking for someone to debate, however not a good choice for someone you want to live with for any length of time – at least if you want to have anything that resembles harmony, that is. Now, if I had even a modicum of intelligence that I actually used, you would think that I would have figured this out, oh say, 10 years ago!! Think again, I must subscribe to the “I will keep trying until I get it right if it kills me” plan. After the last relationship ended so poorly, I knew I did not want to hurt another person, purposely or not, by advancing through life willy-nilly.
One evening, while I was listening to some music that I liked the Epiphany occurred. Here I was listening to something I liked, and there was no ridicule, no great debate about it…and it just clicked.
Therefore, the list begins with music. There should be some mutual appreciation for each others musical tastes. I am not looking for a moratorium banning anything but what I like, just equal time. A simple start, I think.
That fed quickly to political leanings. I was so over debating politics with anyone, much less The Someone who might live with me. I quickly added this to The List. Of course, I just excluded almost the entire populous of West Michigan, but I was forging on. So, unless you are of a liberal mindset there will not be any consideration.
That led to NPR, whom ever I would ever be involved with again needed to at least know what NPR is. Preferably, listen – but the knowledge of intelligent radio is a start. One think they could not do is listen to any of the Shock Jock Radio regurgitation that is being spewed out over the airwaves.
This spurred the no NASCAR rule. Enough said.
I went along beautifully with this rudimentary list and was most satisfied with it. However, there were things that I thought were obvious to everyone, that were not to some. So, add to the list good hygiene and teeth! I know, who’d a thunk it?? Nevertheless, there it is!
I love to cook, so those that despise mealtime or think food should be rote need not apply either.
I would also like them to be positive, cheerful, and upbeat. Okay, nice dream…but in reality it would be nice just to have someone who is not a complainer or negative about everything. Attitude is not everything, but on some levels, it is. Everything in life is a choice, ones attitude is, in my not so humble opinion, the simplest of those choices. Quick wit and the ability to skillfully participate in verbal repartee is an added plus.
They must be unfailingly honest. Being deceitful will earn you a one way ticket to the door, quickly.
Money and the desire for it and Things are not important to me. I have reworked this in my own life and found it to be a marvelously freeing experience. I have been fortunate to discover that I can live richly on little.
Therefore, basically, I have changed my course, redirecting myself towards people who have more in common with me than not. The List, like me, is open to change. I welcome, gentle reader, your comments and suggestions to help me as I go forward, perfecting my map for what I am looking for.