One should always be suspicious of early morning phone calls from one’s parent requesting an “impromptu lunch” but apparently, when said child stays up late and wakes with only her partial wits about her, one gives a yes answer without stopping to ponder the deeper meaning for such a phone call.
However, I did not giving this phone call one more minute of thought, rather I rose and seeing such an incredibly lovely day greeting me I rapidly filled the morning with other things – like walking the dogs, sipping coffee, listening to NPR, and yes – knitting.
Now knitting generally causes me to think and think I did this morning, and not once in all my thinking did the reason for my father’s spontaneous lunch request occur to me. A pre-occupied mind can be a thing of beauty – but ignorance is not always bliss. Yes, I was soon to learn that my bliss-filled state was about to get a shake up!
For once in my life, I can honestly say that I am thrilled that lunch with my father is not something that I find to be an occasion requiring make up and perfectly coiffed hair – yes that is right, and keep that in mind as this luncheon unfolds.
Upon my arrival at his office, I find everything strangely quiet but a burger from Bud’s is always tasty – even if the conversations there are not. Yes, my dad is a Raving Lunatic when it comes to politics and he is as far to the right as I am to the left. Polar opposites, as it were. I have learned over the years to bite my tongue and remain silent – it is always a good exercise in self-control. What should have really set off the warning bells was the inane chatter that filled the drive over to Bud’s – not one mention of Rush Limbaugh or any of his cronies, but rather the weather and other such trivial things filled the drive.
What happened next is really quite hilarious, especially after telling someone just last night that I loved surprises. When we arrived at the diner for lunch there was a guest joining us – yes, my dad in his infinite wisdom has determined that since I cannot procure a date for myself he will step up to the plate and procure one for me! Yes, you read that right – my father apparently thinks he is now a matchmaker, oy vey!
Gentle Reader, I do not often lose my temper but I could feel my blood pressure increase 100 fold as I sat down at the table. My father was grinning from ear to ear, the poor dolt whom my father had told God only knows what about me actually looked like he wished he was elsewhere but sat there gamely as my father introduced us. I somehow managed to be stunningly silent during lunch, I know – even I was amazed by this feat! I was even so rude as to send off several SMS messages off to a friend during said lunch – imagine that! Lunch proved to have epic fail qualities and then some!
The satisfaction I felt on the return trip to his office was well worth the scolding I got for my poor behavior.
I am especially thankful for makeup free, bad hair days particularly when your clothing selection that morning included baggy jeans and a ratty old sweatshirt.
Divine intervention to be sure…