Sometimes, those tiny moments all add up to an overwhelming moment that makes you stop and contemplate how you got there…
Last week was one of those weeks.
It all began with this very simple devotion from Henri Nouwen. Simple, but impactful…Giving and Receiving. I am good at one and horrible at the other. I love Henri Nouwen’s picture of giving and receiving in a yin-yang image. I spent much of the week considering why I struggle with the “receiving” portion of this symbiotic relationship. In every aspect of receiving… truly. Steve could tell you a million times of me getting upset with his help in the kitchen. I am very much of the mindset that it is much better to give than to receive. Yet, these simple words were like an arrow to my heart. I need to work on being a cheerful receiver. It is not easy, and it feels very uncomfortable to be on “the receiving end” of the equation.
Then, on Friday, Kym ushered in Poetry Month with this beautiful poem from Derek Walcott. And with those simple words, another spate of arrows struck my heart. I have printed the poem out and it is hanging at my desk. I have read it multiple times since Kym posted it and each time it overwhelms me with raw emotion and, yes, tears. On the heels of Michelle’s 5-day Self-Portrait Challenge where she pushed us to look at ourselves in new ways. As usual, she pushed me towards those uncomfortable edges of myself, but I managed to steer clear of them and superficially participate in each day’s assignment. This poem, however, brought that discomfort front and center.
So, this week, my tiny moment is me.
I am not writing this post to garner well wishes from you, Gentle Reader – in fact, I seriously debated turning off comments for this post.
However, what I am closing with is a question or two for you; how you deal with those laid bare moments – whatever they might be. Do you push the difficulty back in the corner and ignore it? Or do you take a more pro-active approach?
A lot of times it depends on the where/when aspect. Though I will say I am often embarrassed when I realize truths about myself. Not because they are shameful necessarily, but because I try not to be self-critical 24/7 – so I’ll realize that I’d forgotten something. Good luck on your journey!
My answer is yes. At times I am very good at leaving the difficulty in the corner, and other times headlong action seems to be the best course. I’m currently in the middle of one of those moments, but this time I’m like the river and just letting it flow. A friend and I used to joke about this because neither one of us is really the “let it flow” type, but for whatever reason, it’s working for me now. I wish you well in finding your best approach, Kat.
My instinct is to push back but I am working on keeping my fists open, my arms ready. It is not easy but then that is where I tend to do my best learning. Thank you for your transparency.
I had to teach myself to kindly accept compliments or unexpected gifts. Self analysis is ongoing, but I try to stop negative responses and thoughts as they come into my mind. You are looking face forward into the mirror and you will find the answers you seek.
I think we all instinctively push back, but I think in the long term it is healthier to examine why we react the way we do, whether it’s a constructive response, and (if not) how we change our response to be something better for us and those around us.
I call those moments . . . thin spots. It’s like the universe opens up to us in a whole new way. And it is shocking. Be open, Kat. This is a BIG tiny moment. . .
Sometimes I ignore the difficult stuff and sometimes I push through and work at making things better. I generally find that pushing through and working leads to more insight and depth. Whatever you’re struggling with, you’ve got this.
Often, my desire is to push the difficulty into a corner, but there we sit, me and the difficulty, stuck in the corner. When I work at pushing back and using my resources to work through the difficult issue, I find myself in a new place, with a bit more wisdom and strength for when the next big thing heads my way.
I LOVE this community!! I LOVE that you felt comfortable enough to share that beautiful photo and those heart-felt words … and the support coming through in the comments from so many wise, wonderful women. If only the internet were always such a warm, welcoming place. (and in answer to your question, I like Bonny’s answer 🙂 Hugs, my friend!
I think your tiny moment was/is indeed BIG! for it called not only to you but also to each of us to stop, ponder, grow and appreciate our own (fill in the blanks) moments of _____ and _____ and ____ …
Thank you for your candid sharing. You’ve got this and we are all the stronger. Thank you dear Kat for being you!
I try my very best to say thank you when I am given something. I have a hard time asking for help though. When I do it’s wonderful when the person I’m asking says yes 🙂
I have taught myself not to deflect compliments, but to simply (and sincerely) say thank you. Accepting help can be difficult, but it is giving the other person the opportunity to do something that will make them feel good about themselves.
You’ve got this Kat! I think I’m pretty good at facing things head on…after a day or two of ignoring. The anticipation of “facing” can often be more stressful than the situation itself! xo
I’m getting much better at receiving mainly because I have come to realize that it allows someone else to give and to turn it down prevents them from receiving joy. I feel I have a great support system so I’m a bit more proactive at stressful times cause I know there are folks who can “catch” me.