I am joining with Carole today and my things all surround something that sort of blew up over social media this week thanks to a very poorly conceived blog post and the crucial things we all need to learn from this debacle:
An apology for offending people is not an apology. The apology needed to be for the behavior, thoughts, ignorance, and yes… the extremely poorly worded blog post.
Making excuses for your behavior does nothing but compound the problem.
Finally, it requires each of us to spend time realizing that we don’t know, what we don’t know – and in that realization – we need to make the commitment to learn more. Be more aware. Acknowledge that we have said – say – did – do things every single day that compound this problem. And, yes… even that we are silent when we should not be.
This opened the door to a very real problem that exists in the Fiber Community, et al – it is structured for white success. We all need to work on making it more inclusive – this is not something we can think well “someone else will do that.” It is something that requires work from each of us collectively – every day!
I am not linking to the blog post, but you can find it on the Fringe Association blog but there is a very interesting conversation happening on IG which you can see here and here and here.
I only became aware of this incident last night, so I’m still trying to catch up on everything that went down, but I agree with your assessment. “Sorry I offended you” isn’t an apology. When we’re called out, we need to see as a moment to be humble about our ignorance and as an opportunity to educate ourselves.
I do not think the apology was just “sorry I offended you” at all. I agree that we need to be aware and I actually just put the book White Fragility on hold.
My opinion of the original post is the complete opposite of yours. There was nothing in the post that deserved the kind of outrage it got, and the poster DID apologize and say that she was going to think about what the outraged ones had to say, which seems to me more than sufficient. I wonder what exactly you saw in the post that was so offensive.
IMHO he was a bully and then just got snarky. I appreciate that it started a conversation and an at times very necessary one but to me this just wasn’t the situation for it. I think she handled it respectfully and with intent to listen and consider what other people have to say.
I had read Karen’s post early in the day and also did not find anything offensive (still don’t). When I heard about all the “fuss” over it, I went back to re-read and look at comments. Hoo-Boy. Have to say I agree with Patty that it was a snarky bully and then others jumped on the bandwagon.
No one in the world is perfect. We all make mistakes. We say things we didn’t mean to say or shouldn’t have said in the first place, and sometimes we say them badly. When I read that post, I didn’t read any ill-intent on the part of the author. I did read a thoughtful post about from a woman interested in and enthusiastic about expanding her worldview. And, yes, she wrote it from where she lives — inside the bubble of white privilege. It’s good for all of us in that bubble to be more aware, to learn, to adapt, to change.
Seems like some people have too much time on their hands to criticize others. Don’t read her blog again if you don’t like what she says.
I try to limit my time on social media just because of this. Sometimes people are just not at their best when there are no filters!
I had an odd experience with the woman that was responsible for janitorial services in our office who is from Mexico. She was flabbergasted that I liked non-white food and just couldn’t believe that I’d eat and enjoy food form other countries. I was speechless, I thought part of being inclusive and welcoming was by sharing in the culture of others.
cultures. My experience has been that racist comments come from all races-we need to start looking at other people as humans within the human race who are infallible on a good day.