Sometimes, you just need to send a letter.
Dearest Airborne Antigens,
It is almost July and you have long over stayed your visit. Surely there are greener pastures that are in dire need of your pollen.
Please find them and soon!
My itchy, watery eyes and runny nose
My Dear Backyard Wildlife,
If I consider the Portulaca an offering, could you please stop eating the Rapini and Romanescu?
Because, if you continue to eat them, along with the strawberries and raspberries it will not end well.
I will consider your continued munching a declaration of war.
You have been warned.
The Irate Gardener
Enough with the daily emails about the latest star incentives. This will not encourage me to visit you more frequently.
In fact, it is having the opposite effect. Please stop punishing me because you changed your reward program.
No Stars For Me
Attention Local Weather Persons,
How hard can it possibly be to give an accurate weather forecast? Perhaps you should try looking out the window, perhaps that approach will prove more successful because the current methods are not. At. All.
Dear, Sweet Friday,
You are here and gone far too quickly, and it would be so lovely if you surprised me and started arriving earlier than scheduled.
I miss you so much and wish that you could find a way to visit more often and stay longer.
Your Girl, Friday.
If only these letters would work…
Happy Thursday, Gentle Reader.