I have not done a ‘mail bag’ post in too long. My witty-ness seems to have been on hiatus. But then this week provided me with a few letters to send out on the inter-webs.
Dear Highly Recommended Physical Therapist,
I left my ortho appointment with the delightful Dr. McLane with a referral for some PT addressing “Kathryn’s hip and spine… [because] any time you load the joint she has pain. Now getting secondary iliopsoas pain as well.” However, her all caps, punctuated with asterisks handwritten note was of greatest concern: *PLEASE DO GRASTON TO ILIOPSOAS* … Excuse me…but what?
The Google provided me with some answers, but they were a bit like opening Pandora’s box… of horrors. I watched a video and barely made it through the viewing, and I have no idea how I will make it through the “technique”. I am familiar with “no pain, no gain” but I am not sure this was what Jane Fonda had in mind when she quipped the phrase. In looking up how to pronounce iliopsoas… I realized the irony of the phrase… it appears I can look forward to not only a sore hip, but a so-ass as well…yes, psoas is pronounced so-ass.
But let’s address the real culprit here… the insurance company… you see, what Dr. McLane really wants to do is get an MRI of my hip, but the Insurance Company says that before she can do that she must prescribe PT or they will proscribe the MRI.
So, dear Physical Therapist… I can only ask that you be kind, and so very gentle… oh, and just so you know… I bruise very, very, very easily.
An already sore… and now very worried patient
Dear Now Indicted, Twice Impeached DJT,
I have so many thoughts on your yet sealed indictment which indicates that you might be guilty of some crimes:
But, I think that one of the Central Park Exonerated said it best here:
Yes, indeed… Karma is at times so utterly delightful!
Alvin Bragg’s biggest fan
You have been one exceedingly long-ass month. I am so over your fickle temperatures, your wild winds, your taunting hints at spring that you quickly squash with wintry rains, sleet, and yes… snow.
I’d say don’t let the door hit you on your way out… but I am slamming it hard, so it just might!
See you next year, and please… be on better behavior!
Eager for April
And there you have it for my week! Have a great weekend and I will see you all back here on Monday!
We have arrived at the last day of September and I have a letter or three to share with you all.
Dear Citizens Bank,
You botched our loan pay off and dinged our credit score but you said you’d fix it all. Honestly, I did not believe you… I thought that you were just saying what we wanted to hear.
But!! You did indeed fix it. Our loan is paid off. You have reported your error to the credit reporting agencies. AND those late fees that you debited our account… well, you sent a check which we have received.
I am just letting you know that Steve is not going to deposit that check…he is still a bit perturbed at the entire debacle. His hope is that not depositing that check messes up your accounting system for a bit. Sorry… not sorry… about that.
A shocked, yet mortgage free customer
Dear Emergency Veterinary Clinic,
I am profoundly glad that you are available, even on a Friday night, for Sherman who was having an acute allergic reaction – to what we don’t know – but his face was swollen and he was not breathing well at all. You whisked him back immediately and we sat and waited… which allowed us to observe the constant flow of pet in and out… and I pondered one question you asked deeply: did we want CPR for Sherman. I said yes, but as I sat there I began to wonder how you might do that on him. Thankfully, he did not need CPR, but I am still contemplating that whole concept.
However, as we sat there it was impossible to not hear the amounts people where being charged (sound really carries in your waiting area… just sayin’) and Steve and I began to “joke” about a vet bill the size of the National Debt. And five hours later when you called my cell phone to give me an update on Sherman… I began to really worry that it would indeed exceed the national debt.
Your Vet Tech was lovely… truly she was! But it would have been nice to actually meet with YOU versus a phone call… we were sitting in your lobby… ffs. Happily, Sherman seems entirely recovered and, no offense, but I hope we don’t have to come back and visit you for a very long time!
Sherman’s Mom and Dad… who now have a much lighter wallet!
Finally, this last letter is in response to the multitude of IG reels that Steve has sent me this week on one topic… (One of the many reels can be found here)
Dear Bored Instagram,
Or should I say Board Instagram? I think that sometimes you have lost your damned minds… but this time I know you have!
Butter Boards? Really?
I do not understand… at all. And I like butter! But I am not spreading it dollop by dollop onto a cutting board and topping it with anything and sitting down with a loaf of bread and swiping and eating.
If this is the next best craze… count me out!
The woman who will not be making any Butter Boards… ever.
And there you have it, the insanity of my week. I am really ready for a normal, instagram free weekend!
I hope you have a great weekend… free of any hiccups or emergency vet visits! And if there are any bank errors I hope they are in your favor! See you all back in on Monday!
Today I have a stack of letters that I need to get in the post… buckle up!
Dear Citizens Bank Mortgage Department,
I realize that your goal is that people who have a mortgage would never pay it off and make all payments on time…and refinance frequently. However, when we called for a payoff letter… we were serious. Never did we imagine that your payoff letter would be incorrect… by a whopping $3.00. Just enough to keep the loan open… Which would keep our auto-payment open, but not pulling any payment because $3.00 is, of course, less than our usual mortgage payment.
So we called you. And called you. And called you some more. And then we got a late fee. And you reported a late payment to the credit bureau… which I am wondering how that is even possible since we don’t owe a payment!
Likewise, it is so comforting to call a customer service rep who is working from home with audible television and kids in the background. I really don’t think she is going to make our problem a priority.
Anyways, you have assured us this will all be fixed *sometime next week*… excuse me if we don’t hold our breath and we will be calling on Tuesday just to make sure!
Mortgage Free, minus $3.00…
I know that you are usually full of some fun, some good food, and for sure… a cocktail or two. This weekend will not be that. I just want to let you know that clear liquids and jello does not mean I am upset with you… I just have this little test on Monday to get ready for.
And the timing on the “prep” portion of my weekend “fun” will be determined later today when they give me a “go time” for my procedure…but I am really hoping that I do not have an afternoon appointment on Monday!
Finally… a letter to myself:
I found this marvelous quote this week… perfect timing for you!
To learn something new, you need to try new things and not be afraid to be wrong. ―
It seemed to be your mantra this week because you tried lots of new things… (new shoulder seams, new bind off, and another painting!)
I know you felt a bit overwhelmed, but you listened to the advice in this week’s painting lesson and incorporated it in your painting! Yay for different brushes… and using those brushes differently!
I am so impressed with your bite-sized approach to this week’s lesson… a little bit each day and you did not get overwhelmed!
I think this is a painting that you will look back on and say things started to click for you… and you can even see the forest *and* the trees!
Your Kinder, Gentler Inner Voice
And with that, dear readers, it is the weekend.
I will be back on Wednesday with some Unraveling. Think good thoughts for me on Monday!
I have said this many times, that there seems to be enough room in the world for mediocre men, but not for mediocre women, and we really have to work very, very hard. — Madeleine Albright
Dearest Madam Secretary,
The news of your passing took me by surprise this week because, somehow, I was of the mindset that you would be here forever… If only. I have such incredible memories of you… starting with your becoming Madam Secretary. My goodness, that was such a note worthy event. You were The First (but absolutely not the last!) You were such an incredible breaker of glass ceilings and you were most certainly not mediocre! But my greatest joy ever was listening to you read your book, Fascism: A Warning… I imagined that what you shared must be similar to what your students heard in your classes, and perhaps… what other leaders heard when you spoke to them. You are leaving a void that will take many to fill but fortunately, you have inspired so many others and my hope is that those many others will rise up and fill that void in magnificent ways. I promise you that your memory is a blessing to so many. May you rest in power.
With Deepest Sympathies,
A Devoted Fan
Honorable Judge Brown Jackson,
I wanted to take a moment to send you my thoughts on The Senate Confirmation Hearing…aka Your Week In Hell. I am so very sorry that out of the hundreds of judgements that you have delivered, some…the mediocre…only focused on a very small handful. Do not fear, we all saw that they were doing there… Sadly, Irony died a very long time ago. The adage of glass houses seems to be most appropriate here, but they are blind and deaf to that. Sadly, the mediocre are never mute… and for a very brief moment I erroneously felt a bit of woman-ship with you. Many of us have been in meetings where we were interrupted…continuously… so please, forgive my white privilege in even momentarily thinking what I (and many other white women) experienced was in any way similar, it was not…at all. I also want to thank Cory Booker for showing us all so beautifully how to have someones back. And yet through the entire debacle, you maintained such incredible composure! You are a shining example for all of us! I am so eager for your confirmation to the Supreme Court. Your presence there is long overdue…and I, for one, am so glad you persevered. You are the best of all of us!
A Joy-Full and Inspired American
Have a great weekend everyone, I will see you all back here on Monday with my word update!
It’s been a wintry week here in Pittsburgh… bitterly cold temperatures – which meant we had some sunshine! A knitter does not cry over cold… we have sweaters, hats, mittens, cowls, scarves… cold weather is every knitters dream! You know… the days you can wear.all.the.knits! And those slices of sunshine? Who all doesn’t need a bit of a Vitamin D boost as January draws to a close! The snow from our last snowstorm is still on the ground and this morning a fresh blanket of snow covered it. I love it when it is all fresh and white… it is visible reminder that each day we have a fresh start! Right?
Let’s see what’s in the mailbag this wintry Friday, shall we?
I know you thought that you were winning the battle in my head. I am usually adept at ignoring the ever-present noise during the day, but night time is a different matter. You have been winning the Battle of Darkness making me a casualty of far too many sleepless nights. But! No longer! I have some new armor that is splendidly effective at silencing you! Bose Sleep Buds have banished you to the Halls of Brown Noise! It is a wonder what uninterrupted sleep does for a body! And even more wonderful what weeks of uninterrupted sleep can do! So take that, Tinnitus. You are down for the count… at least at night!
Sorry not sorry,
A well-rested Kat
My most beloved Imagined Landscapes!
As I draw to a close on my January Gnome… I just had to take a moment to stop and thank you for so many things… perhaps too many to list in one short letter! But I wanted to thank you for your Insane Creativity… my goodness, you are a wonder! After knitting Gnutmeg I can now knit jog-less stripes, I have a better understanding of planned increases, and you have watered the joy that had withered inside me! I have one wee little leg to go… but the Gnome Boot! Oh my goodness!
Anxiously awaiting my February Gnome and I can’t wait to see what you can teach me about cabling!
Your most adoring fan!
Gnon-stop Gnitting Kat
And with that… I say Let the Weekending Begin! (if only, right?)
See you all back here on Monday! Have a great weekend everyone!