One salvation in these endlessly mind numbing days has been The Slowdown. This week has been especially fun as each post has been about food. However, the Ode to Butter might just be the best thing I listened to all week!
This week saw the end of the 100 Day Project. Oh boy, the best laid plans of mice and stitchers…I started off very well and managed to keep up the momentum until about day 50-ish when I realized that there was no way this stitching was going to take 100 days to complete. I have a few bits to fill in, I think. I have been looking at the stitching with a critical eye over the last 20 or so days. Some days I add a bit of stitching, others I do nothing but look and think. Am I happy with what I have? Yes! I will continue to contemplate and fill in when the mood strikes me…and I am okay with that.
This week this news made me squeal and dance with joy!
This week … this photo has filled me with all the feels!
All.The.Love!
But this week also had some hard things…I have been reading some blog posts that really have spoken to me…loudly. It felt good to know I am not the only one who is horribly out of sorts, unsettled, scared, and just so damned angry. I should not be surprised because every day is out of sorts, unsettled, scary, and full of things to make one rage…but I have been trying to ignore, avoid, pretend, and keep my rose-colored glassed clean. Except sometimes ignoring, avoiding, pretending, and trying to see good when there just isn’t any takes more work than a body can handle. I found myself unable to focus on the simplest things, unable to follow through (see last Friday’s blog post for a prime example… I spent about 30 minutes ‘polishing’ it on Friday morning but never published it…and I never realized it until Monday morning!) unable to let go of little things. I have had thinner skin, which has resulted in an increase in arguments and/or hurt feelings. So this week…I got off the “isn’t life grand if you ignore, avoid, and pretend train” and took off those damned rose colored glasses and stared reality down… the ugly, out of sorts, scary, oh.my.gosh I am so angry reality. I allowed myself to be angry at what is happening rather than smothering that anger only to have it erupt when I least expect it. I allowed the fear in… and I meditated with that fear. Did the fear depart? Nope…but acknowledging the fears and remembering that I am not alone helped. The thing I learned is that life is not always rosy…and pretending it is, or letting everyone think that it is, simply is not working for me.
But in the midst of all this chaos…there are only 108 days until the election! Are you registered to vote? Have you applied for an absentee/mail in ballot? If not, put that on the top of your to-do list and I will see you back here next week!
Have a good weekend everyone!
Life definitely isn’t all rosy and it’s best to acknowledge that. I hope the weekend gives you a bit of a breather and that you are able to relax and enjoy it. Love the picture of your grandchildren – precious!
I love your stitching, your honesty, and willingness to take off the rose-colored glasses and view reality in all of its scary ugliness. There is a time and place to wear those glasses and sometimes they are necessary for moments of self-preservation, but I personally prefer to try and face reality much of the time. It sounds simplistic, but meditation, poetry, and therapy has helped. But when I have to face the fact that I can’t visit Ryan, there is no end in sight, and I have written letters to my kids in case I get sick, reality is still an awfully deep chasm to stare into. Sending virtual hugs across the chasm.
What a beautiful photo of Genevieve and Winston! They are absolutely frickin’ adorable!!!
I know our country is in flux, and it is going to take small steps from everybody to make the big steps we need to improve. Have faith that things will progress as they should. <3
Are you finding any solace in knitting? I am enjoying my 2017 Mystery Shawl (which I started in 2017!!!) because it is just complicated enough to have to think a bit, but not so complicated that it is unruly. 🙂
I understand exactly what you mean about feeling out-of-sorts and unsettled. Your words about just facing it all were just what I needed to hear. I have to just work through it (can’t go around it, can’t avoid it)! Thanks for your post today. It helps to know I am not alone with these feelings! P.S. Your grandchildren are so adorable in their 4th of July outfits!
Thank you for the babies photo. They are adorable.
I had to do something… I made 75 calls on behalf of the Democrats in Wisconsin , reminding people that they can vote absentee if they don’t want to go out during COVID. Only one person hung up on me. One 78 year old woman interrupted me and said, ‘Dont you worry honey, I’ll be there to vote in person!”
You are raising babies. Im raising vegetables and flowers.. I have the time to help because We are not at the barn volunteering now.
I pray every single day that we have a new administration elected. I get so upset and worried and I have to do something else like knitting or reading just to disconnect.
You are one of the strongest, most insightful people I know. This post proves it. (I hope none of my posts made you angry. If they did, I apologize. Let me know.) And that is most excellent news about Brenda Dayne resuming her podcast — thanks for posting it.
Thank you for the link to a new to me podcast, I have subscribed and await the next instalment.
I love the picture of your grandchildren, and that it fills you with all the feels.
I hear you with your anger, feeling unsettled and scared, the situation here in my country is pretty bad, but the news from yours suggests it is far worse. I hear you on trying to see the good and believe that everything will be ok, we have to believe that don’t we, we have to have hope that it will be ok. But that is exhausting especially if we are pushing against and resisting, it makes us angry and you are so right we have to let that in and accept it. We are conditioned not to do that aren’t we, we are condition not to talk about it, so thank you for doing that and reminding us that it is ok to talk about it. I do hope you feel a little more settled now.
Those babies are so sweet!!
One of the things that I love about you is that it seems like you’re able to feel the outrage and the hope at the same time (or at least, AROUND the same time!). Thank you for the advice to sit with the anger instead of letting it erupt when it’s least expected or helpful.
I hope this weekend is a chance to recharge, rest, and engage with the beauty around you!
I love your stitching, and frankly I think 100 days is just an artificial deadline — you should keep working on it for as long as you need to until you feel it’s done.
I am very much with you on the rage, the sadness, all that. I am trying to focus all that emotion into productive things. I have registered to get my ballot by mail. I am exercising daily so that I can get out nervous energy. I am reading books that educate me on issues of race and privilege and all that. But I am always looking to do more.
Oh, this was just what I needed – truth and rosiness! I follow you from afar, your blog has given me some real meaning lately .
The dull, out-of-sorts feeling hit my fan too this week. I realized that my rose-colored glasses have to be flexible with certain people, and it was time for me to take them off whenever that ‘umph’ comes.
So, self preservation, now-and-then. Plus, kids, yeah!
Thanks
OMG – CAST ON is coming back??!!!! thank you for that PSA! also, I cried actual tears this afternoon watching the TV ad that Biden is broadcasting on Fox tomorrow when Chris Wallace interviews the president. 108 days … it’s been 125 since I started my quarantine journal. we’re past the halfway point.
p.s. what a great photo of your grandS! and I love that stitching piece 🙂
Such gorgeous grandchildren! She is going to be a heart-breaker.
And you’ve made my day: Brenda is coming back!!!! I have missed her SO much. In my mind, no other knit blogger comes close!
I love your stitching. So free and flowy!
What sweet grandchildren. I have listened to some of the Cast-On episodes multiple times. What good news. Life is hard these days. You are wise to understand how you are feeling. I plan to do is help an organization called Vote Forward. It’s easy, anonymous, and costs little to volunteer. The goal is to remind registered voters to get out and vote – no endorsement of specific candidates.
Luv those littles…too cute and oh! Do I see some Kat in both of ’em.
The nice thing about abandoned stitching, knitting, etc projects… is one always has something to do. Ask me how I know?!
I’m always available when you need an ear…
your links are always spot on! The ode to butter made me smile….my dad taught me the fine art of buttering both sides of the bread (only when he was my ‘babysitter’….never when mom was around!); and ‘budder’ was my grandson’s first word! We’re a family of ‘budder’ lovers!!!
That photo is adorable!!!! Just want to give a squeeze!!!