I am joining Carolyn again this month to share my word update.
This may be the most exhausting blog post I have ever written. I started it on Friday, rewrote it on Saturday, deleted it on Sunday and started again…exhausting to the nth power! And even then… hitting that damned publish button! February has just been so mentally difficult. Despite a plethora of recommendations, I had been avoiding Brené Brown for a very long time. Something in the things she said just hit way to close to home for me and I was not ready at all to even begin to think about why. But then February came… and I figured, how bad can starting be? Especially in such a short month…
Oh boy…how bad?
Apparently really bad because I listened to The Gifts of Imperfection…twice. And that was not enough so I ordered a physical copy and have been reading it, marking it, underlining it, writing in it ever since. There has been lots of anger, tears, frustrations, if only’s, and thoughts about how ignoring things just doesn’t work long term. This phrase really hit home for me:
“The universe is not short on wake-up calls. We’re just quick to hit the snooze button.”
― The Gifts of Imperfection
Yep. Exactly.
This month I began the work of not hitting the snooze button anymore and started to peek into my inner closets that are jammed full of all the things I don’t really know what to do with.
I started out by using a combination of Carolyn’s Being vs. Doing prompt for February and the worksheets that Brené has on her website for Wholehearted Living. Before I knew it, those pages were full so I moved to the margins and wrote more and then flipped over the paper and wrote still more.
And while I’d like to tell you that I have found a solution in all this reading, thinking, and writing. It just is not as easy as all that.
But what I do know is that I am not going to solve anything. I just need to find a way to release it.
If only the doing was as easy as the knowing what to do…
I will be back on Wednesday to share some unraveling (fingers crossed that there is a finished sweater!!)
If you want to see my journey with release, you will find it here.
Good job on not hitting the snooze button, Kat! I have so many things that I’m ignoring, hoping they go away, that this post was honestly a little difficult for me to read. I understand how hard it is to deal with things and know what to do, so I commend you. Brené Brown kind of irritates me, but I’m beginning to think that’s because she’s telling me things I need to hear but am busy ignoring. Unraveling is easier than release!
Well done on no snooze button. Like Bonny, Brene Brown irritates me too and I’m not one to go over things again and again…or write stuff down. but for you it sounds as though that may be key. Good luck!
I love the photo you chose to accompany your post. It illustrates your word exactly as you described. I am also reading The Gifts of Imperfection right now! It is already dog-eared and marked up. So much good stuff in there. It makes me wonder why I was so late to the Brene Brown party. I am stuck on the being vs. doing aspect of my word right now. I think I will check out Brene’s website. Thanks for the inspiration!
Brené Brown is on to something. Although I am still too quick to hit the snooze button. I really need to change that. Life is for living, not waiting for something to happen. Time to move (figuratively) so I can enjoy LIFE!
Your description of reading BB gave me the chills. There’s something about the timing of coming to what’s been calling us all along. You’re reminding me here of the work I did with a therapist in ’17-’18. It was such OLD work. I asked her why it took me so long…so much pain…so much mess. I was surprised when she told me I couldn’t have been ready for it before. (I’d tried in 2004 and 2010 but was unsuccessful–and that came as no surprise to her at all.) It sounds like this word is with you for good reason this year–if damn draining at times! I wonder if it will show up in your Lenten poetry practice… xo
You are brave and strong, and I hope that as hard as this work is, you’re finding it worthwhile. I do really admire your commitment to Release, and I hope as you address these difficult things, you’re able to then let them go.
I’m so glad the right teacher has come into your life at the right time. Go you with looking into the closets of your life and releasing the things that are just taking up space. It may not be easy but I think identifying what they are is a HUGE step forward.
Ah. Brené Brown. If we’re open (and it sounds like you certainly are!) she has much to teach. Glad you’re diving in. It may be messy for while. Keep breathing. XO
Wow – I’m so glad you wrote this post – what a brave thing to do. You’re doing such hard work and it’s going to be worthwhile, despite how painful it is right now. And your sentence, “But what I do know is that I am not going to solve anything. I just need to find a way to release it.” — Ooof. That one hit me in the gut and reminded me that there’s so much I could benefit from releasing. Thank you for wading into these waters and showing us the way!
You are very brave to look so closely at whatever troubles you. For some reason B. Brown has never spoken to me but maybe I should take another look. I love the quote though. I have a mantra that has served me well in some difficult situations. It goes like this: See it. Name it. Let it be. Let it go. I don’t always succeed but it helps me remember what is often a better response.
I have been going through some challenging times since October and journaling is my way in and through my thoughts. Every day I write and answer: what does acceptance look like? How will I accept? and Why do I want to accept. Through this daily answering the answers are coming in fits and starts.