Usher’s in crunch time…
I don’t know about any of you, but the Holiday Blues are definitely a thing… at least for me they are. My expectations have often been the trigger for those blues… as in my expectations are HIGH and reality never quite hits that level.
Today, I am giving myself permission to be imperfect.
Today, I am reminding myself that “not enough” might actually be “more than enough.”
Today, I am reminding myself that pausing for some impromptu deep breathing helps diffuse the feelings, the thoughts, the frustrations.
Today, I am simply going to love my perfectly imperfect self and I am going to say it out loud so I can hear it… inside and out!
Be gentle with yourselves… yes to that extra cup of coffee or tea! And a double yes to just one more row!
This week is for all those extras… and more! See you all back here on Wednesday!
Well said Kat, well said. Expectations can be the ruin of so many things! Wishing you a peaceful and stress-free week. Enjoy the sounds and sights of the season…and your knitting!! Have fun.
Sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to be however we are, and you are certainly smart to do that. I don’t know if you get the Sunday letters from Anne of Little Skein, but I will forward yesterday’s letter to you. I found it to be full of lots of validation of the perfectness of our imperfections.
I try really hard to not think about what makes me sad (missing my kids), and focus on the abundance in my life. It’s a balancing act!!
My minister was the first person I ever heard say ‘expectations are premeditated resentments. And I laughed–because it is so true. I was talking about this with both my dad and my MIL recently. My dad came from a lifelong physically, verbal, and emotionally abusive home (his mother); my MIL was rejected by her birth mother when they met in my MIL’s adulthood. Holidays are always a tough time for both of them. While I know they’re both happy when it’s over–I can also say I’ve observed how easy they both are this time of year…in that they are not clinging to traditions (which were often painful/sad/a void) and they’re open to simpler joys, shaking things up, and/or doing less. I think they both tend to go for the kernel of the holiday versus the ‘all of it.’ I don’t know if this makes any sense at all. But I hear you. And I think you are wise.
This is excellent advice, Kat. When I realized on Saturday that I’m not going to be able to get medwurst for Christmas Eve I gave myself permission to not make homemade Swedish rye bread. I’m really happy to be skipping that task since it’s time consuming and stressful.
Good on you, Kat! Holiday stress is often self-imposed, and your good self has decided against doing it. Last night I made a list of the things I need to do before we leave for our Christmas family get-together and estimated how long each would take. It added up to about 15 hours — and I have four days to get ‘er done. No prob!
The holidays do come with lots of emotions. Giving ourselves permission to be who we are is a good idea any time but especially during the winter holidays. Over the past few years, I have tried to remember Christmas is a season. Some days are happy, some are sad, and others are a quiet entry into winter.
I think so many of us (particularly those of us who are mothers) feel this intense pressure to make the holidays perfect, whether others are expecting it or not. I think I got a bit lucky with all the excitement of the bat mitzvah this year because that became the main focus, and I told my kid ahead of time that we were not going to be making a big deal of Chanukah this year — and she was fine with that. I think we would all be better served by remembering that the holidays will still happen even if they aren’t perfect, and making ourselves miserable by trying to make them perfect is a sure-fire way to ruin them. Take things as they come and enjoy the moment!
I hear you about feeling disappointed when we don’t meet our own high expectations. I try to think about how my unrealistic expectations can put unfair pressure on the people around me. I don’t want my children remembering the holidays as my grumpy season, so I’m trying to be relaxed and laid back about it all. And to focus on resting as much as possible, instead of all of the busy-ness that can creep in. I hope you’ve found some comfort in stitching, reading, and painting this week!
Such wise words, Kat! I’m in that same “mode” right now — especially with this storm coming. Which is upending most of our celebration plans. But . . . I’m ready to go with the flow! XO
My Dad disliked Christmas because he said people got tired and were too busy. My Mum certainly worked extremely hard and gave my brother and I wonderful memories. I wanted to give my family the same happy memories, oddly I have never asked them. I think maybe I did, because my three sons all participate fully in the work before Christmas. Any way, I’m writing this two days before Christmas, so my message is Stop , breathe and start to enjoy.