Keep growing quietly and seriously throughout your whole development; you cannot disturb it more rudely than by looking outward and expecting from outside replies to questions that only your inmost feeling in your most hushed hour can perhaps answer. — Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
This month I decided to pair my focus to that of what was going on around me… growth. And this quote by my beloved Rilke was my guiding light.
Quiet growth.
Nature does quiet growth brilliantly… the dandelions do not shout as they one day appear strewn across the lawn. The trees do not sing a chorus as they begin the process of leafing out.
Quiet growth.
And so I turn inward to focus on quiet growth and I realized that sometime in mid-March I crossed the invisible barrier of insomnia. I have not had a sleepless night in some weeks… I am amazed at how simple little things can make dramatic differences! What are those things? No screen time for starters! If I read at all, it is from an actual book. It is far too tempting with the iPad to just check in on emails. Or Threads. Or Instagram. And suddenly an hour has passed and I am wide awake… so the scrolling continues. No iPad means better sleep because I am allowing my brain to do what it wants to… settle down for the day. That single thing has made the largest impact on the rest of the things… because if I am not tired all the other things seem to fall into place easier.
Now, that does not mean I am oblivious to the chaos that overwhelms daily life… nor that I am not concerned about that chaos… but it means I am attempting to control how it impacts me versus allowing it to take over. Am I perfect in not falling down the rabbit hole of “news alert” scrolling? No, but I am more aware of it now and that is a big step forward!
And I continue to amble along with Adrian Bell… I love reading his thoughts on spring. His struggles with compost success, his delight in small things, his thoughts on farming… are just brilliant (and yes, at times hilarious!) And his writing encourages me to slow down and pay attention to the small changes happening every day.
I have discovered that reading “seasonal” books read slowly over the course of the season really helps me stay in the season… and that might be the best self-growth of all. I continue making my way through Poetry is not a Luxury: Poems for All Seasons and have just finished Angela Harding’s Spring Unfurled: A printmaker’s view. It was delightful and the artwork so beautiful. And I have added James Crews latest book, Breathing Room: Poems of Rest & Retreat… I am just a few poems in and already I am loving them so much. His poem, Dandelion is one of my current favorites. I have returned to it several times this month… each time I read it I notice something new. It is nice to sit in quiet contemplation of the poem as I look out over the “lucky pennies” scattered across my back yard!
Quiet growth… is never loud, but it is impactful. I also continue to make my way through Emergence Magazine’s Seasons volume. It has so many good things in it. It introduced me to Ron C. Moss, a Tasmanian poet… he is a master of the haiku. I have been trying to “grow” my skills at writing and have started with the not so simple haiku. (I’m not sure this will be the last frost of the season, but I sure am hoping it was! ha!)
Last Frost: 3.28.26
Was this weekend it?
Last gasp of winter dying
Spring keeps on swelling.
And then Bonny introduced me to the challenging Zip Ode… quiet brain growth is a very good thing. I begin by writing my zip code down the side of a scrap of paper and then begin to play with words. It is an evolving process from the start to what I feel like might be the finish. And it occurs to me that preserving the process might be an interesting thing to look back on, so I pulled out an empty journal to house my attempts. It is a good thing to see growth… I don’t always notice it. Yesterday mornings attempt… and a reminder my zip code is 15243:
Wind
blows the rain on windows
I wake
and listen until the
patter becomes lullaby.
The final quiet growth this season… I have begun a correspondence with a friend… yes, letter writing back and forth. It is more fun than I ever imagined! I love getting her letters and I love sending a missive back to her. Quiet conversation… slow, unhurried, simple.
And with that my friends, I am going to continue my quiet growth journey this month… I will be back. I am not sure when, but I expect it will be sometime in early May!
I will try your suggested method of zip code poetry although I will need to be creative as my zip is 55901. Oh the possibilities of 0.
And, for fun letter writing – – consider joining The Sunday Letter Project. I just took the pledge and will write my first Sunday letter this weekend.
https://www.thesundayletterproject.com/
Quiet growth sounds like a wonderful thing, and I love that Rilke quote. Your haiku is wonderful although you may be writing another last frost one next week. We’ve got at least two nights with nighttime temps of less than 30 predicted. I also think your Zip Ode is beautiful! I haven’t written any more since the first one but I should give it a try for some of that quiet brain growth. I never thought of myself as a poet (and still don’t) but I’ve enjoyed my few attempts. My SiL is having cataract surgery tomorrow so I’m working on a cataract limerick. Enjoy your quiet growth!
I’m really glad you’ve found a way to stop those sleepless nights because I think not getting enough sleep makes everything else more difficult. I wish you hopeful renewal in this time of quiet growth.
I am so happy to hear of all these positive developments (especially the sleep part — getting good sleep makes such a huge difference). Like you, I’ve been almost exclusively reading a print book before bed. Combined with the heat we’ve been having and exercise during the day (and lately busy days at work), it translates to drooping eyelids within 10 minutes most nights. It’s not great for reading, but it has meant an easier time falling asleep, which is something I’ve really struggled with.
Beautiful post on quiet growth. I am in the throes of a heavy cold and my brain feels like cotton wool. could I write a poem with my postcode- the numbers are 254? Or with the letters? I shall have a go. … based on what I can see from the window
Wind stirs
the fresh green tree leaves.
The odd twig falls.
More work needed perhaps
I was away over Easter and it was interesting to note the difference a few 100 iles made to the seasons progress. There.. daffodils still in full bloom- here tulips looking fabulous.
So glad you are sleeping better- I have given up completely on the news now- too bewildering for words.
Quiet growth and seasonal books sound perfect. Which reminds me of the Hal Borland book (“Twelve Moons of the Year”) which is buried on my nightstand (under SO MANY library books!). Twelve Moons has a short essay (a page at most usually) for each day of the year. It’s a wonderful book.
I have insomnia and I just accept it, I get up at 4 am because I cannot sleep anymore. One day it will go away or so I hope!! Love the words ‘quiet growth’
I do enjoy seasonal reading. Quiet slow growth seems like a good way to savor the details.