I am joining Honoré again this month to share an update on my word.

Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen Hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is. — Mary Anne Radmacher

September was such a hard month. And that sentence is such a damned understatement, but I honestly have no words for how hard it was for me – even with a weekend away!

I thought that I was a pretty good manager of stress… oh boy. September showed me how I am managing nothing, and it is managing me, and it has been all along, if I am being completely honest with myself. Maybe I was just better at ignoring it.

One would think that 8 months into this insanity, I would be used to the mind-numbing sameness of the days. However, the reality is that 8 months in to this pandemic the “fake it till you make it” well has finally run dry. Instead September woke me to the malady known as cabin fever. Foolishly, I would have sworn I had experienced it before being snowed in a time or two, but no… being snowed in for a day or two, or maybe even a week ain’t got nothin’ on Pandemic Cabin Fever.

The things I can choose these days are not the things I want to choose, that is for damned sure! And so in September I chose to be absent from lots of things. Which, in light of my very bad attitude, is probably the smartest decision I made all month.

I would love to share with you that while I wallowed in the Sea of Self-Pity that I had some epiphanal moment resulting in a dramatic change of attitude. Nope, but what I did learn was that it was okay to not feel good. To not feel happy.

And that is okay.

You can see all of my Intentional Journey here.

 

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