It’s been a very quiet month in the OLW department. Ali Edward’s prompt for the month was to look for our word to show up in our days… and so I practiced patience and tried to pay attention…. sigh. At times the silence was jarring and after a week of waiting with no Word Sightings, I decided I needed a new tactic for the month. I decided I would look at the impediment for my word… i.e. what prevents me from being authentic. Enter Brené Brown… at the end of last month I listened to her lecture/workshop: The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connections, and Courage…twice. It was the best 10 hours I spent last month and I wrote down lots of notes of encouragement for myself and this one I wrote in big, bold letters:
How much we know ourselves is extremely important…
Know myself… okay! I know myself very well so making the “Let Go” list was easy:
- Let go of my inner critic… who is often the loudest voice in my head (this inner critic jumps in often about all.the.things!)
- Let go of expectations that I cannot control… i.e. expectations in others
Sadly, the “Let Go” list does not contain any “new things” … sigh. Thankfully, William Shatner provided me some insight to this problem:
Most people, including myself, keep repeating the same mistakes.
Ouch… right?
Rather than allowing my inner critic to begin the Chorus of Defeat at my inevitability of repeating mistakes, I considered a different path…
Identify, acknowledge, and diminish….
with a big focus on diminish because I don’t think I am every going to completely “Let Go” of that damned inner critic, or expectations that I cannot control… but perhaps I can make them less…a lot less!
I don’t think that will be easy… but I am going to work on it with these words printed out boldly as a daily reminder..
How much we know ourselves is extremely important but how we treat ourselves is the most important. — Brené Brown
As always, I’d like to thank Carolyn for keeping me faithful in sharing my word, I might have taken a hard pass on this month, if not for her! Please make sure you go see how everyone else did with their word this month!
See you all back here on Wednesday!
I think you’ve found something really important — it can be really hard, if not downright impossible, to completely let go of things, but we can make them have less impact. I wish you a lot of luck in diminishing the volume of your inner critic!
Letting go of one’s inner critic can be so very tricky and so very hard. Good luck! I love that last quote (how we treat ourselves….) – very strong and good advice.
Letting Go is so very difficult, and at least for me, there is often a reason I’m holding on. And control is something we all struggle with, wishing we had it, but realizing deep down that we often don’t. You’ve made real progress this month, and here’s to diminish!
I love your thoughts on Dimish.. That is so good when applied to our inner selves. I shall give Dimish some thought. That and your quote about how we treat ourselves. I think we could all treat ourselves better, with more kindness and encouragement. You’ve had a Good month with your word.
Echoing others here, I think you nailed something with Diminish. Something very real and maybe even pivotal! (Is it even *possible* to completely let go of our inner critic?) (Maybe some people really can! If so, that’s one hell of a super power.)
I worked with a spiritual guide in 2016 who advised naming the inner critic–giving that voice my own middle name. When I hear that voice, say, ‘I hear you, Lee…and you can go now.’ Then close the proverbial door. (‘Til the next time she barges in!) It makes sense…the whole middle name thing. (Though, I have to admit, it always felt a little uncomfortable!) Makes sense in that the inner critic IS a part of ourselves, whether we like it or not. (Just like I don’t like my middle name!)
Sounds like you are in seriously rich work with Authenticity. I, too, am appreciative of all of us showing up here to hold one another accountable. It’s so worth it. ♥
I call my inner critic Wanda and I tell her to f***k off all the time! Authenticity is a journey and I think you are doing a wonderful job of acknowledging the process it takes to get there.
letting go of expectations of others is my biggest challenge that I work on every single day. Lovely photo of you and your post today was wonderful.
I think most of us live with an inner critic. I think it was Rachel Naomi Remen who refers to herself as sweetheart as in “listen sweetheart . . . ” Carolyn’s advice to acknowledge the inner critic is one I’ve heard in reference to creative writing. It makes sense that it would apply to all the inner critics. It’s a struggle. Your post is wonderfully thoughtful.
Oooooo. This is Good Stuff, Kat. “Inner critics” have really loud voices. While they never say ANYTHING nice at all, we do tend to listen to them all the time. I think you “noticed” your word in a really productive way this month. And “diminish” is such a wonderful concept when it comes to letting go. Brilliant! XO
Improvement, not perfection!
I really like the idea of diminishing my inner critic — of giving her less power than she has already claimed. Thank you for putting that thought into my head!