I am joining with Julianne today and touching base with my word.
You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. – C.S. Lewis
As the fourth month of focus draws to a close, I think I am ready to share some of the frustrations that I have felt with myself as I have explored being more focused.
Honestly, I should have done this word years ago – perhaps decades ago even! All sorts of things have been running through my brain about where I might be today if I had been more focused so long ago. There have been some extremely unpleasant (and highly critical) conversations with myself and lots of “what if’s” have filled my brain and I was spending a good bit of time dwelling on the “would of” rather than letting it go and refocusing on the now and, more importantly, the future.
And then I stumbled upon that quote from C.S. Lewis and a light bulb went off in my brain.
Despite how much I want to I can’t go back and change anything. Beating myself up for my lack of focus does no good but changing my focus today can make all the difference in the world. I have now been gently reminding myself that my start back in January has been very productive and I have learned so much!
This is a year long process of honing my focus – not a miraculous overnight change – and the purpose of this year with this word is to change the ending not the beginning!
Monday’s are never fun, but when Monday and Tax Day fall on The.Same.Day. Well, that should just be against the law, imo!
So, rather than dwell on the Monday-est Monday ever – let’s rewind the weekend a bit, shall we?
Friday, I managed to get a good bit of knitting done on my sweater, but it did not get anymore “knit time” during the weekend except for a few brief moments on Sunday. Still – borrowing a great idea from a brilliant blogger – I have visible progress! Woo hoo!
Happy hour was fantastic – martini’s with bleu cheese stuffed olives are simply divine! And, the meatballs were not bad either! Haha!
Saturday, oh Saturday… we wondered if Janoski’s might have asparagus in – but alas, it is still a couple of weeks out. So, back to the task of the day… taming the back yard. It took most of the day, but not as long as either of us imagined… which was a good thing. Steve grilled burgers for dinner (which as also a good thing!) Now, here is where our age factor showed up – by 6PM I was MORE than ready for bed – as was Steve. I wish I was kidding… but sometimes reality bites…and early bedtimes are a must! Haha!
Sunday brought rains and Palm Sunday church was wonderful as was the pedicure after church! Remind me to do that next year the day after “Back Yard Clean Up” because that massage chair… oh yeah! The day rounded out with a jump start on laundry, a wee bit of knitting, and omelets for dinner.
The perfect, and simple, ending to a too short weekend!
It has been a hell of a week and I have been eerily reminded how history repeats itself. Yet, knowing how history happens does not make the here and now less stressful. Yet this morning gentle rains filled my senses with a sense of calm and then I found Sara Teasdale’s poem. Her words filled me with a sense of calm – someday all of what is happening right now will just be history and “no one will care at last when it is done.” May these words give you peace as you welcome the weekend, and may you spend more time listening to the robins “whistling whims” than worrying about the latest news. Have a wonderful weekend and I will see you back here next week.
There Will Come Soft Rains
Sara Teasdale, 1884-1933
There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;
And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum trees in tremulous white,
Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;
And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.
Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;
And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.
March has been a month of questioning so many things. And, my thoughts have been turning around the “can you teach an old Kat new tricks” idiom. Yes, I have been focusing on the things I do (and don’t do) and the whys of them.
Things in my focus this month have been –
keeping my closet clean ✘
better dinner planning ✔
and moving more consistently ✔
One of those things continued to be an epic failure all.month.long. (Hello, closet!! I am looking at you!)
Being organized in the tiniest closet ever is not easy – but part of the problem might be too.many.clothes.
But help is on the way!!
Some Closet Kondo-ing is already underway and maybe some Wardrobe Styling are in order. But hopefully, next month my closet (and wardrobe) will have a new focus and stay that way!
What about you? Do you struggle with closet organization?
I think I might have finally unlocked the complete and total insanity phase as I am contemplating a 100-day Project… and this one is totally out of the box, I am contemplating quilting! I have not done any quilting in years – so long in fact that I don’t remember much about my feelings about it. But, I have a stack of fat quarters and some years ago I thought about doing this little Bernina Project which has a difficulty level of “beginner” and complete in 4-weeks, but I think 100 Days might be a much better plan! (And, if I start soon, it just might be done in time for Christmas!!)
Being an avid student of history, Cohen’s testimony struck me yesterday as an eerie repeat of a much earlier testimony…that of Joe Valachi’s 1963 testimony before Congress. I laughed when I Googled “mobster congress testimony” and both Joe and Cohen info filled the web page, so I must not be alone with that thought! However, the best part of the day was when Rep. Elijah Cummings took us to church to close the hearing! Preach it Mr. Cummings!!
That is all I have for today! What things are new with you?
This Focus Journey has truly shed a beacon of light on how much of your time you spend dwelling in the past or worrying about what is to come. And, this month you have tried so hard to stay with “what lies within” me – in the here and now. I know it has not been an easy journey and the lightbulb did not really go off until you started reading Maria Shriver’s devotional book, I’ve Been Thinking… You had not even finished the first chapter and her words of wisdom began to put the pieces together for you: “So today, start where you are. The past is gone. The future isn’t here. This day offers each of us a chance to be the person we want to be. Not the person we wish we had been yesterday or want to be tomorrow, but the person we already are.”
That is what I have been nudging you toward but I get that sometimes it is easier to hear that from someone else rather than me. But, believe me when I tell you that it is okay to stop carrying around some of the baggage you don’t really want to let go of. You can and it will be okay. That baggage is not a badge of honor, no matter how much you think it is. Just.let.go.
And, if you do that, you won’t have to worry about what lies ahead either – you can just focus on being the person you already are and have fun doing it!
I am joining Juliann and I hope you visit and see where other’s words are taking them!