The “January Thaw” has been more like the “January Revolving Door” in my neighborhood… wintery-mix-rain-repeat. Proof of this weird weather is evident with this: I have Snowdrops that with 5 minutes of sunshine will likely bloom today (I will be watching to get a photo!) and the chives are coming up in my garden. Apparently they are the Harbingers of No Winter Here!
But it’s been a week… at least for me, and of course… I have thoughts!
David Crosby, still. Yes, there was a tear or ten shed. I really liked him… and had newfound love for him because of his tweets. My all time favorite album, Wind on the Water, contains my all time favorite song: Carry Me. It is hope that he is now reunited with his mother and they are singing together. If you want to spend a little time reminiscing with his music… you will find 10 excellent songs here.
Irritate, Inflame, Irk —
As in what every doctor should try not to do with any patient…ever! Yes, it has been a few days since I visited “the new doctor” and I am happy to say that I have moved past the tears, depression, and
anger rage phases. (Although, it took a minute, some incredibly supportive texts from a dear friend, and a new gnome to move past it all…) I begin today with a game plan… which may or may not include said physician. But I wanted to take a minute to talk about being your own best health care advocate because let’s face it… I think there are WAY more physicians like the one I saw on Monday and very few like my much loved and often longed for physician from Holland! I am saying this as a reminder to myself because I am a great advocate for others, but somehow don’t feel that I am worthy of the same treatment. The best advice I got in my Days of Moping was this… remember the doctor works for you! I have been approaching “finding a physician” similarly to how I felt about Dr. DePree in Holland… there was a camaraderie between us. We had children the same age, who went to school together, we served on committees together, we occasionally bumped into each other socially. In short, I have been wanting to find a physician that I liked… and who liked me as well. Silly me… this person works for me, he or she does not have to like me. But they do have to treat me with respect, they have to listen (more than they talk), and yes… I can demand that they not look at me and pull out their canned speech for “aging, fat, women” of diet, drink more water, and exercise. I should have stopped him in the midst of this diatribe, but I was hurt and stunned that this was even happening. He never asked me what I like to be called, he never used my name… once. But… as I said at the beginning of this… I have a game plan to move forward. I had about eleventy billion vials of blood drawn this morning and when those results are back, I am going to make another appointment with the Nurse Practitioner and I will talk with her about my hip pain issues (and perhaps even my blood test results, lol) and if that turns out to be as epic a fail as the physicians appointment… then I will be back at square one, finding a new physician. But maybe, just maybe… I will find that the NP will be as lovely as Dr. DePree is and find that this office will work just fine (and never, ever see that damned doctor again! LOL)
My way with my new word. It has had some hiccups… because, of course it has, right? But in the midst of wondering why on earth I picked this word… I have had at least one thing happen each day that reinforces this word. The best one this week was a poem read by the new host of The Slowdown. (You can listen to Major Jackson share his thoughts and read the poem here) I wrote these lines from Paul Laurence Dunbar’s poem The Mask in my journal:
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
Finally Finished —
Yesterday I had a BIG FINISH! I spun all the yarn the “Great Sweater Spin” and yesterday I gave it a nice spa treatment, a good bit of thwacking, and then hung up all my skeins to dry. And the yarn turned out beautifully! So beautifully!
This afternoon my plan is to wind up one of the “smaller skeins” and start swatching to find a fabric I like. Once I have done that, I will pick a pattern… which absolutely is the best way to knit a sweater. Find a yarn you like, knit with said yarn to find the fabric you like, measure the gauge of that swatch and then find a pattern that matches your gauge!
And with that, I say… Let The Weekend Begin! See you all back here on Monday with my Bumpy Start with my Word update! Happy Weekend all!