Here I am almost at the end of January and my word demands that I share with you that it has been a bit of a rocky start…
Confession time; more than once this month I have asked myself why I picked this word! However, one thing I am not is a quitter…and so I forged ahead.
And in January… I always start at the beginning!
Authenticity — noun
The quality of being real or true.
But what does that really mean? Because as I was so handily reminded in Paul Laurence Dunbar’s poem, We Wear The Mask… we all wear a mask on our public face.
I vividly remember several rousing discussions in my confirmation classes around the topic of “white lies.” Yes, even at the tender age of 12 we got that sometimes saying the truth that hurts is not a very nice thing to do in polite conversation. Those “how are you?” inquiries and the “absolutely fine!” responses are not what this year is about.
No, this year is a deeper search into why I withhold authenticity from myself. I should not have to ‘wear the mask’ with myself… right? And yet I do… all.the.time. by ignoring, avoiding, disregarding, neglecting… I think you get that the list could go on and on.
Because my Avoidance Game is strong, this year I am approaching authenticity a bit differently with myself.
This word is different for me and as such will require a new approach! To start I have begun a word cloud that I hope will be a work in progress this year. I started with some things I want to remind myself of this year… including one poem that will be helpful in my journey this year.
I also picked up a book I had planned on reading in January… but I have yet to crack it open! So it is on the top of my list for February.
And there you have my Authentic January start!
Again, I would like to thank Carolyn for providing the perfect Monthly Landing Spot to keep myself accountable. It is most appreciated!
See you all back here on Wednesday with some Unraveling!
A slightly rocky start might mean that you’ve chosen well. If it was easy then there would be nothing to pursue this year! That book sounds wonderful and though I often look to books for answers, I think it’s even more important that you are searching for your authenticity within.
I agree with Bonny – a bit of a rocky or unsure start most likely means it’s a good word for you! The book looks like a good one too Kat. And, I like your word cloud – that’s a fun idea.
Your word is as authentic as it can be, lol. I hope you have a wonderful journey with your word and that it reveals hidden truths to you 🙂
Oh boy do I understand about having a word that is challenging . . . remember Open in 2002? LOL But I think you are approaching this in a wonderful (and authentic!) way and you will see more growth because you have chosen a word that feels harder. I’m cheering you on!
I enjoyed both the poems you have linked to. I look forward to reading how you get on with this word, it seems quite a hard one. I think if you paint from the heart you will discover your authentic core.
So many thoughts as I read and reread this post, Kat. They’re flying all over my brain! One is that this word–while challenging and different in so many ways–sounds like the ‘most right’ word for you, now. Meaning…it seems like a ‘wrestle’ is part of the whole point of the word? Maybe? Your word cloud made me tingle. And the masks. Have you read any Don Miguel Ruiz, of Four Agreements fame? It was so long ago now, I can’t remember if he wrote about masks OR if I interpreted something he wrote as masks. Anyway…it came to mind. I peeked at your Intentions book. (Can’t wait to hear what you think of it!) You have meaty work ahead. So grateful to be on the path with you.
I think if you were having an easy first month of your OLW, it would mean that you hadn’t picked a word that would really push and challenge you. I applaud your efforts to start taking off that mask with yourself; it may very well be the hardest part of your journey!
In my experience, the hard ones (the words we fight) usually have the deepest lessons for us! My advice . . . is to let it unfold in its own way and in its own time . When you’re open to discovering the lessons of your word, they’ll come to you. You’ve got a strong start here, Kat. I can’t wait to see where this word takes you! XOXO
I agree with other comments. I think your honesty is very authentic and so rocky start or not, I predict an interesting journey for you.
Our community is so wise, supportive, and kind! I can’t think of better companions for a journey – be it fun, or hard (or both!) Thank you for trusting us with so much of yourself!
Isn’t it surprising how hard it is to understand who we really are?? It seems like it should be the easiest thing in the world, but you’re right — we are all wearing masks all of the time. I’m looking forward to learning a lot from your journey this year, Kat. Finding our authentic selves is something all of us could explore more deeply!