To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
This has truly been a good year… but… during the month I did not “think” much about my word. However, I journaled quite a bit and as I sat down to pull this post together it occurs to me that authenticity has become reality for me.
I am very comfortable speaking up for myself. This is perhaps the most impressive thing I have written here! I certainly journaled about it lots this month! And I am happy to say that speaking up for myself does not mean I am offending anyone… or not being nice… or being difficult.
I embraced “not knowing” things I did not know… i.e. if someone (Steve mostly) asked me about something obscure that I did not know… I could just say, ‘I don’t know’ and it felt so good! (Likewise, I did not feel the need to know or learn about what he asked… I was entirely comfortable is my ‘I don’t know’ response and I discovered that sometimes that thing (whatever it is) that pops into his head does not need a solution or an answer. (Thank you, dearest Rilke for that invaluable ‘live the question’ advice!)
I have a very comfortable routine for my days – perhaps too comfortable. Too comfortable is one of those danger zones for me… it can become complacent, which is never, ever good. So I am shaking up my “normal” routine with a new painting class (that begins tomorrow.) This one has weekly homework, so I will ignite the “good student” inside me and break out of myself a bit!
And I am feeling very, very ready to be done with this word… in past years, I have felt some sorrow as the year ended because I really felt that I had more to learn. This year that is not the case at all and I am eager to take my authentic self into the New Year with a very clean slate!
As always, I am so thankful for Carolyn gathering us all together. Do stop and see how everyone did in their journey this month!
Happy Monday everyone! See you all back here on Wednesday for some unraveling!
With last month’s Authenticity post still in my mind, I’m celebrating with you here, Kat — because this is a Huge Word (in my opinion) and it sounds to me like it’s become inherent! I can’t help but think all the really hard work of your last few words was leading up to this.
I so appreciate how you said “…speaking up for myself does not mean I am offending anyone… or not being nice… or being difficult.” Yes. Yes. I don’t think anyone could have said that better.
It sounds like authenticity has been a resounding success for you! Way to go, Kat (and keep going in your authentic way)!
Being our authentic selves is so much less tiring than trying to be compliant, or agreeable, or whatever it is others think we should be.
It took me moving away to really be able to embrace my authentic self.
This was such a good post to read Kat! Yay for speaking up for one’s self and yay for saying “I don’t know” and being comfortable with that. Can’t wait to hear about your painting class (and seeing some). I’m curious…have you chosen a word for next year (or has one chosen you?)?
I’m proud of you for recognizing that it’s okay (MORE than okay) to say I don’t know. These words are sometimes (often?) difficult but they all teach us something. GO, you.
I know this word has been a challenge for you, and I am proud of you for all the grappling you’ve done with it. That you’ve continued to work at it and push yourself says a lot about who you are.
Did you happen to seen that Merriam-Webster has declared the word of the year to be “authentic”? Clearly you were onto something when you picked it!
Speaking up for one’s self is a big accomplishment. I still struggle with that one. I do think that with age comes more authenticity. You have done quite well with this word, even though it hasn’t always been easy. And yes, to living the questions.
What a great word for you this year, Kat! Maybe not “exciting” from the outside — but SUPER “exciting” on the inside! (All that any of us can ever hope for from a word . . . inner growth!) XO
I love that you wrote ‘I am very done with this word’ lol. I have been forced to give up most of what I love to do in my days due to extended family visiting. This is good and bad mixed together. I have been reflecting on it!!